While You Wait...

Here's a little somethin' somethin' for you guys to soak in and watch in awe as you continue to wait patiently for #6 in my countdown. This man is Reb Brown. Product of the mid to late 80's and early 90's. The worst years of human history.

By the way, when he jumped from the boat there in the beginning, he screamed "Our Father who art in heaven!" ...Incredible. Now here's Reb giving a dying Vietnamese peasant boy his last wish... a description of Disneyland. What you're about to see is Oscar worthy.

Hell, why not one more.

Unbelievable. So there you have it, Reb Brown's career. Ugly as sin.

Actors Who Rule, Not Drool: #7

                                                                 #7
You know, it's hard to imagine that Tom Hardy was that scrawny looking punk from Star Trek: Nemesis (The shittiest of the Star Trek movies by far). But my God, he has impressed me quite a bit in the past two or three years. The man is a specimen in pretty much every aspect. He has a metabolism the likes of Christian Bale's, and a very similar style of acting if you ask me. If you're going to try and model yourself after someone else, it should always be after Christian Bale, take note of that. Seriously, get a pad and a paper, write it down, and do not forget it. But Tom Hardy is one of the leaders of the next generation of great actors. He stole the show in Inception, tore shit up in Warrior, and then absolutely blew my God-Damn mind in Bronson. If you haven't seen Bronson, stop being such a stupid ass and get to it. Go right now to a place where videotapes or film are sold or rented, and buy it or rent it. And. Watch. It. Here's a little sample:



It's got violence. It's got comedy. It's got nudity. It's got Great Britain. And it's got screaming. Lots and lots of screaming. Oh! And foul language. Sounds like my kind of flick. And guess what: it definitely was. Also, if you haven't already heard, Hardy will be playing Bane in The Dark Knight Rises, and I guarantee you, it will be bad ass. But let's not get TOO excited here though. I like Tom Hardy as much as the next guy, but he's still only number seven. Wanna know why? Because, as I stated earlier, the dumb ass decided to be in Star Trek: Nemesis. Couldn't have picked a worse movie to get your career started. Way to go Tom, you pooped on your own wiener with that one. Pooped all over it.

Actors Who Rule, Not Drool: #8

                                                                   #8
Michael Fassbender is just one of those  actors that comes along every once in a while, that makes even the most lady lovin' dudes want to be his petty man slave. Hell, you know I would. Starring in Inglourious Basterds, X-Men: First Class, and 300, Fassbender shoots Nazis in the balls, crushes their skulls at will, and then a few thousand years earlier, he slaughtered probably a good 6 or 7,000 of those wacky Persians, who were somehow a world power while being lead by a rather dainty, and effeminate bald man. Who painted himself gold. Anyway, thousands of stupid asses who thought they stood a chance against the mighty Fassbender, were met with a nice swift kick from this bad ass, dead-sexy son of a bitch.The man truly is an amzing actor, he's going to be in an upcoming movie with fellow bad ass Viggo Mortensen in the coming year about Sigmund Freud, and may even be booked to play Magneto at least one more time possibly. The man's on fire. Sexy, hot, talented fire. If this countdown was being done about five or six years from now, he'd be way higher than eight, I'll tell you that. However, he kinda fudged the bucket in 2010, and bruised the hearts of his man crushers, with this massive piece of garbage:

 Way to go dumb ass. This lands you at eight. But I still love you.

Actors Who Rule, Not Drool: #9

                                                                    #9
Number nine goes to Mr. Nicolas Cage. He's completely bat shit crazy...I wouldn't wanna mess with him. I'll let the video do the explaining.

Actors Who Rule, Not Drool: #10

Alright, so my first blog is going to be something I've wanted to do for a while now: tell you who the top most bad ass, insane, and talented actors are. Don't even try to argue with it. I'll slap you so fast... So anyway, this first installment will  be dedicated to number ten slot holder, Eric Bana.

                                                                      #10
Alright, so first off this freakin' cool Australian bastard was the first guy to play The Hulk/ David Banner in a movie. So let's stop right there for a second. Bana...Hmmm...his last name sounds curiously like an Australian trying to say Banner doesn't it? That's proof enough to me that he was born with the sole purpose of playing the Hulk. So damn the suits in Washington for replacing him with cookie cutter actors like Ed Norton and Mark Ruffalo, who play with dolls, like to watch Will and Grace, and star in "13 Going On 30" with Jennifer Garner. Meanwhile, while they paint their nails, Eric Bana's probably eating African Cave Dwelling Spiders in the outback somewhere. Plus, he's a damn good actor. Ever see "Munich" in like 2006? That movie almost won best damn picture, and while it's supposedly a movie about a 1972 Israeli covert assassination operation, I'm pretty sure it's just a documentary about what what Eric Bana and Daniel Craig do for fun when they decide to visit Germany. And yes, Eric Bana and Daniel Craig were in the same movie once, and it was glorious. Now some people would say: "Shuuuuut yo dumb ass up, Brad Pitt dragged Eric Bana's kicked ass through the dirt in 2004's "Troy." And that's when I would say "Troy" was the biggest bag of shit I had to endure in 2004 and therefore their argument has no merit in my eyes. However, since Eric Bana even decided to take part in such a dumb ass project, that immediately drops him to ten on my list... Bitch.

Here's The Bottom Line.

Alright  jabrones, this is the way it's going to go around here at "The Old Saloon": I'm going to throw my opinions out there about movies, TV, books, music, and life in general. Take it if you want it and if you don't send it right back. But I. Will. Be. Heard, with an "a'' and it's gonna be magick with a "k." Now  let's get bloggin'.

- Howlin' Mad